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How To Have Sex Last Longer In & Out Of Bed

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We all want to last a long time in bed. This is a fact. There's nothing more embarrassing than the fear that you are too fast at sex. We often associate sexual prowess and sexual ability by how long we can last before orgasming. Usually more pressure is on the men because women tend to take longer to orgasm anyway. What are some of the more specific reasons for wanting to last longer in bed? Let's go through the main two:

1. The psychological reason.

It doesn't feel great, emotionally or mentally, if you don't think you last long enough in bed. This in turn can effect your ability to perform. It can also lead to stress and make sex less fun or a chore. And that is the last thing you want!

2. For your partner.

We mentioned above that women tend to take longer than men to orgasm. If you are finishing in a few minutes chances are your partner is not. A big part of sex is making your partner feel good so by making yourself last longer you can achieve this.

It makes sense that you would want to last as long as possible when it comes to sex. After all, you want to be giving yourself and your partner pleasure for as long as possible. Before we jump into the tips and techniques for lasting longer, we should at least go over what the average sex time is.

How Long People Have Sex For On Average

It's important to understand how long people have sex for on average. This is because you may be worrying that you aren't lasting long enough when actually you are!

Scientists and researchers find that on average sex lasts approximately six minutes. Six minutes doesn't seem like very long at all, because it isn't really. There are some songs that are longer than six minutes! So if you are lasting more than six minutes you are still doing better than the average!

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Of course, this hardly takes into consideration things like foreplay or oral sex. The six minutes from from typical heterosexual intercourse. As in, once a man enters a woman how long does it take for him to orgasm and ejaculate.

Even if you are lasting longer than the average, you likely still want to last longer. And who doesn't! I'm sure if we could we would want to keep sex going until we got so tired we passed out. While it's not really possible to ever increase the amount of time you have sex by that much (and trust us, you don't want to!), there are some things that you can consider to add a some extra time to your time in bed. Read on to see what they are.

1. It's all in your head.

What we mean by this is that a lot of the worry that you might have about how long you are lasting can greatly impact your performance. You know the phrase "self-fulfilling prophecy"? Exactly! If you worry too much about how long you are having sex for it can end up having a negative effect on your sexual performance.

The best thing that you can do is try to feel as comfortable as possible. When you feel comfortable, you feel good. And then you are able to focus more on the actual sex with your partner. Take extra steps to make sure that you are comfortable, whether that means switching positions or whatever.

Also, try to relax! Sex isn't supposed to be stressful. If it is, then something is going wrong. If you are unable to relax during sex and are getting too anxious and worried about how long you are lasting, it's time to take a few deep breaths and evaluate. Try talking with your partner to let her know your worries. They will almost certainly understand and want to help you feel more relaxed and comfortable.

Once you've gotten comfortable and relaxed, you'll find that not only will you be able to last longer but also you might not even care as much about how long you are lasting anyway.

2. Be confident in what you are doing.

This is another form of worry like we mentioned above. But it's worth talking about confident on its own because in the bed, confidence is everything. If you are acting confident and assured in what you are doing, not only will it undoubtedly give your partner and you more pleasure, but it will certainly help you to last longer.

Now being confident doesn't meant that you should avoid new things where you may able less certain or fumble. Rather, you should embrace any change and uncertainty with the same amount of confidence you bring to everything. Confidence will help everyone to relax and have a good time, which is only a good thing!

3. Foreplay is key.

Actual intercourse might not last that long, but foreplay can last a very long time! In fact, if you do it right you could be indulging in foreplay for as long as you are able to. Maybe even upwards of an hour! There are all kinds of foreplay that you can try out that offer all levels of pleasure and intensity. You can start off slow, with a back rub or light massage. Take turns touching and pleasuring one another. Sex isn't just about the end result. The journey matters just as much. And with foreplay you can really build up the anticipation and experience super intense stimulation.

4. Don't forget about oral sex.

This rolls into foreplay but oral sex is so fun that it of course deserves its own mention. Oral sex doesn't necessarily have to be done to completion and often couples find that they enjoy it better as a precursor to sex rather than a means to an orgasm. You can get aroused and move closer to an orgasm a little slower when you're going down on one another. And if you take turns pleasuring one another, your sex is sure to last a while.

5. Try masturbating first.

Often after you have sex once, it takes longer to finish the second time around. If you want to quickly get to the main event, you can masturbate before getting it on with your partner. For those who are more adventurous, we recommend masturbating while watching each other. Why? Because it's super hot, that's why! However, if you prefer privacy, that's totally fine too. After your first orgasm, don't take too long a break before getting back into it. If you do then your body might catch up again and the fatigue from your first orgasm could wear off entirely.

6. Stop and start again.

This is another way to draw out completion. Sometimes it is called edging. When you are really close to orgasming, stop and let your body come down from the high. Even if you aren't specifically trying to last longer, edging can be a lot of fun. It is frustrating, but in a good way! It's also a fun game to play where one partner is controlling the edging for the other.

6. Masturbate in general.

Not only is masturbating great, but regular masturbating can help to regulate your orgasms. It can also mean that you are able to last a little bit longer when you are having sex with your partner. And when you are masturbating on your own, practice the edging technique we mentioned above. Then you can apply it to the bedroom and show off how much longer you can last.

8. Squeeze the penis.

Think about a hose. How do you stop the water from coming out? That's right: you give it a squeeze to stop the flow. You can squeeze the penis in a similar way to restrict the semen from coming out. Try giving the base a squeeze the next time you are having sex and about to come. It's not a perfect method but it can bring some relief and help you to last a little bit longer.

9. Do your kegal exercises.

This one is for both men and women. Yes, men can practice strengthening their pelvic muscles too! Studies show that doing these exercises strengthen the muscles in the pelvic region, which can lead to bigger and better orgasms. Even better is that more recent studies show that kegal exercises can also help to make you last longer. In fact, men who practice these exercises have been known to last almost four times as long. This is the sort of exercise that we can get behind!

10. Try something new.

When you get comfortable and know your sex routine, you can start to expect when to feel certain things. This can make the whole experience go a little bit faster. When you switch things up and try something new, your body doesn't know what to expect. This uncertainty and anticipation can help to add a little bit of time to your routine. Trying new things is especially beneficial for men, scientists have found. Do you hear that, men? It's time to get out of your comfort zone and try something new!

11. Get some assistance.

If you want to go the extra step of making sex last longer, you can always try a numbing cream or thicker condom. Both of these items do the same thing just in a different way. They both act as a way to make the penis less sensitive. The condom acts as a physical barrier so you can feel less and the numbing cream literally makes it so that you can't feel as much. When you can't feel as much, you don't get as stimulated and therefore you don't come as fast. However, items such as these can make sex a little less fun and pleasurable so make sure it's what you really want before giving them a try.

If you try all of these tips and techniques and you are still having trouble lasting longer, it may be time to have a talk with your doctor. We don't meant to get all serious here, but there could be a medical problem! Premature ejaculation is a real thing and it plagues a lot of men. Talking with your doctor can help to sort out what is going on down there and get you back on the road to having incredible sex.

It is worth mentioning again, of course, that a major contributor to how long you last in bed is your own mind. Our minds are very powerful things but a lot of the time they work against us. If you are constantly stressed out or worried about sex, it will definitely have a negative impact on your ability to perform. Do whatever you can to get out of your head so you can finally relax and start to enjoy sex again.

And that's really what matters the most at the end of the day, right? That you are enjoying yourself and feeling good. While marathon sex certainly can be enjoyable, it's not the end all be all. If you feel amazing and make your partner feel amazing in 15 minutes instead of 75 minutes, does it really, truly matter? As a society we are so hung up on numbers and winning. We always have to be the biggest, fastest, strongest and last the longest.

This focus on numbers also takes away a lot of the pleasure and intimacy that sex brings. The above techniques and tips are great if you are wanting sex to last longer. However, ultimately we think you should stop looking at the clock and focus instead on your partner. It's about quality over quantity, right? Most people will say that they have no idea how long the best sex they ever had lasted. And this is because they were enjoying it so much they didn't even look at a clock!

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The Best Ways To Have Sex Last Longer In & Out Of Bed

Are you worried about how long you last when it comes to sex? With these tips and techniques, you'll be able to have sex longer both in and out of bed.

The Best Ways To Have Sex Last Longer In & Out Of Bed