The question of how long should sex last on average is one that people worry about from the moment they start having sex. If you've spent any amount of time with friends, often how long sex lasts is a topic of conversation, with people who last a long time getting approval while people make fun of those who don't last a long time. Sex duration is a topic that first comes up in high school locker rooms and continues on well into adulthood.

This is because the quality of sex is often wrapped up in the duration of sex. People who last longer are often perceived as better lovers. And if someone has complaints about a hookup, often it can be that the sex was too short or that someone came too fast. There is nothing worse than appearing to be a bad or inadequate lover so it's easy to get worried or hung up on how long sex lasts.

That is why it is good to know average sex lengths. You want to know how you stack up against everyone else, right? Well, let's get started with some basic research.

Scientists and researchers have been conducing studies on sex almost as long as people have been worrying about sex! And what they have found is very, very interesting. What they have found is this: the average length of sex is about six minutes. Yes, only six minutes! That's definitely not as long as you thought, right? And if you are thinking that 6 minutes doesn't sound very long at all, that number has actually increased from studies done in the 50s and 60s. When those studies were done, the average length was closer to 3 or 4 minutes.

So we've definitely been making improvements, which is great. One of the main reasons that the average length of sex has increased is to do with our view points about sex. For many, sex is simply about creating babies. Sure there is pleasure involved, but that's not the main reason for having sex. It's almost a chore in that sense. But as we've become more liberated and sexually open and curious in the past 50 years it means that we are exploring different ways to have sex, different kinds of sex, and also focusing on pleasure.

Before we go on, there are some things to take into consideration about this average number. We will list them below.

That 6 minute average number mostly refers to heterosexual sex, which means sex between a man and a woman that involves a penis and vagina. When different kinds of sex (man and man or woman and woman, for example) come into play, the times can change and would likely increase. This is because there are often different kinds of stimulation involved for getting off.

Generally, when researchers say that on average sex lasts about 6 minutes, they aren't including foreplay. By 6 minutes, they truly mean penetration and the act of reaching orgasm. Now, we all know that sex can be so much more than penetration to reach orgasm. Foreplay is an important part of a sexual experience and would most definitely lengthen the average time. As well, when you aren't simply having sex for the sake of reaching orgasm, the time length can change as well. Maybe you're spending more time giving and receiving oral. Maybe you're fingering. Maybe you're slowing licking whipped cream off of your lover. There are a lot of explorations and activities that can make your sexual adventure way, way longer than 6 minutes!

People get very hung up on how long they spend having sex that it can distract from what sex is really about: feeling good and having fun. If you feel super incredible and satisfied after a 5 minute quickie, who is to say that isn't good sex? In fact, it sounds incredible!

It's important to focus on pleasure instead of the numbers. What really matters, at the end of the day, is making your lover or partner or hookup feel really good. And hopefully they're also into making you feel good as well! We promise you, if you focus on the pleasure instead of the time, all parties involved will have a much better time.

If you worry too much about the length of your performance you can actually make it worse. A lot of sex boils down to feeling comfortable and at ease. If you are mentally freaking out over how long you are lasting, that can have a negative affect on your sexual experience. It could make you orgasm way faster or it could completely kill the mood. And the only thing worse than finishing too fast is not being able to finish at all. So instead of getting stuck inside your own head, take a few deep breaths, relax, forget about the numbers and focus on how good everything feels. That's all that matters!

We mentioned it briefly above, but it is worth mentioning again: sex is more than just intercourse and it is more than just orgasming! Most research numbers only include the basic act of penetration and orgasming, which totally skews things if you think about it. If you really want to increase the amount of time you spend having sex and also not worry about how long you are going to last, we recommend focusing on foreplay.

We love foreplay! It is a great way to get intimate with your partner, explore each other's bodies, and spend more time rolling around together. So before you jump right to intercourse, why not try out some of these foreplay ideas:

It's a known fact that when you take one sense away the others become heightened. Really make your partner squirm by covering their eyes with a blindfold. When they can't see, lightly carries their body with your fingers and tongue. It will feel extra amazing. And because they won't know where you'll touch next, there's a heightened feeling of suspense, which is always super arousing. If you have a feather, try using that to tickle and tease your lover even more. You'd be surprised how long you can keep this up. And be sure to take turns! After few rounds you'll both be so incredibly turned on and horny.

Just like using the blind fold, restraining your partner is a great way to excite them and draw out the sexual experience. If they are unable to move their arms or legs very well, it heightens the experience through anticipation. They will literally be dying trying to touch you as you touch them but the restraints will keep them from moving. And you'll be surprised at how turned on you get from controlling their movements.

Simple touching is a great way to draw out sex and create an intimate experience. You can touch and massage with just your hands but why not try adding a body oil or sex oil for an extra level of fun. Oils make everything more slick and slippery, which only heightens pleasure. You can also get special oils that increase arousal or even tingle or get hot.

Sometimes adding a bit of edible fun to your foreplay can be incredible. There are many different options to explore, from the most basic, whipped cream, to something more interesting, like honey or fruits. Eating food off of your lover is super fun and intimate. It gives you a chance to really lick them in ways you might not have before. And you also get a snack out of it too! Basically it's a win-win. Just be sure to find out about allergies before you start exploring with food!

Toys can be a great way to add some fun to the bedroom and lengthen or heighten your sexual experience. There are a lot of different kind of toys you can choose from, depending on what sort of pleasure you want to focus on. There are butt plugs, to increase pleasure in your rectal area. Nipple clamps are especially great if you have sensitive nipples. There are toys that vibrate that can increase pleasure depending on where they touch. Take the time to explore all of the different toy options and how they can bring a little something extra to your exploits.

Have you ever tried living out a role-playing fantasy? They can be a lot of fun and add a new dimension to your sex experience! They can get fairly elaborate, with costumes and lengthy story lines. But one thing is for certain: most everyone who participates in role playing says the absolutely love it. So why not figure out a fantasy your partner has been harboring and help them live it out with costumes and extra fun!

Oftentimes watching porn is something we do in private and don't want to share with our lovers. We think that watching porn can totally be something you do with a partner. In fact, it can be even more sexy! Trust us: it is an extra turn on to watch other people having sex with your own partner present. It can add a whole different dimension to your lovemaking process.

You've seen it in movies and read it in romance novels: the rose petals strewn about, candles lit, low lighting. It may seem a little silly but spending some time on your surroundings can really help to set the mood. Take some time to create a special space and really enjoy it. Stop and smell those roses!

If you're on your way to see your lover or hookup, get them excited and horny sooner. Try sending sexy text messages or videos so they're all hot and bothered by the time you get to them. (Of course, it is important to check with them first to make sure they are comfortable with sexting!) The anticipation and waiting for sex is often as fun as the actual sex itself so take the opportunity to really drive them crazy an hour or so before you can pleasure them in person.

We can't stress enough how important it is to not worry about sex length! That being said, if you are orgasming and/or ejaculating after a very, very short amount of time, like a minute or so, you may want to speak to your doctor as there could be something wrong. But otherwise, if you're orgasming in about 6 minutes or so, know that is completely normal. Embrace it!

Instead of trying to make the intercourse part of sex last longer, which can lead to stress and a bad time, focus on other ways to make your sex experience last longer, like with foreplay. We listed a lot of fun ideas above that can not only lengthen sex, but make it a lot more fun. By adding a whole body massage, role play, or bondage to sex you will definitely increase the time you spend having sex. More importantly, however, you will be increasing your pleasure at least ten fold. And when you're having that much fun and feeling that good, who cares about numbers.

So focus on the pleasure and fun rather than the clock the next time you're having sex. We promise you won't be disappointed!

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