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How To Tell If Your Partner Is Addicted To Porn

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If you wanted to find out if your partner is addicted to porn, you should take notice of any unusual behavior such as an obsession for intimacy and more time spent online than is normal. You should also pay attention to whether your partner has password protection on mobile device to keep you for finding out. A lack of interest in intimacy with you anymore should also be suspect. If all else fails, then it may be worse than you think and you need to seek professional assistance from a counselor or therapist. Read on for more details!

There are so many people that are completely oblivious to the fact that a relationship can be plagued with porn and they could be kept in the dark about it. Some people are ignorant about this because of the desire to trust their partner unconditionally. Many times, the assumption is that a partner will be aware that watching porn beyond a quick glance of the Playboy Magazine is detrimental to a relationship. In fact, it could be classified as an affair or cheating. The ignorance, in combination with the extent that a porn fanatic will go to conceal erotica, can leave the other partner not knowing about it for months and up to several years. On the other hand, there are some partners that use porn to enhance their relationship. If that is the case, then it is quite OK to include a different forms of erotica into your sex life. In fact, porn can be introduced as long as both parties are participants and have agreed to do so.

The Other Partner's Pleasure

Porn has now gone from being used for a em>partner's pleasure to being used dangerously and unwisely. It gets bad when porn takes over someone's life. Rather than using it to enhance one's sex life, porn has become the object of satisfaction and desire, leaving the other partner to wonder what is going on. When someone gets overly indulgent in porn while in a relationship, it will put the other partner in an uncomfortable situation. Where will that partner get their sexual needs met, if the other partner is not doing so?

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That is one of the questions that will be answered, but first is finding out how to tell if one partner has an addiction to porn. In some relationships, porn is accepted, even if only one person watches it, but it is usually for the main purpose of heating up the bedroom antics. However, this is still dangerous to have one partner watching porn and the other not. It could be an excuse used to indulge in erotica. You cannot be ignorant about this or porn addiction can invade your relationship.

Be Vigilant

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Addiction to erotica is serious and any signs shown should be taken seriously. To detect whether your partner is participating in erotica or not, it is important to be aware of the surroundings. Paying attention to any changes in behavior or action is primarily the first sign. For example, if your partner suddenly gets up at night and goes to the Internet for several hours, then that is room for pause. If you notice that the phone bill is higher than normal and after checking, you notice several paid phone numbers, make sure you call the numbers to find out more. Porn is not only online. It can be done over the phone. The bottom line is that you should be proactive and vigilant. Do not assume anything.

Male And Female

Even though, women and men alike may enjoy erotica, in both cases, addictive behavior can develop into a surmountable problem. In addition, it appears from previous studies done that males are more prone to the practice than women are. So for the purpose of this article, we will use the word, 'he.' more often than 'she.' This does not necessarily mean that women are not considered culprits too. The man tends to like to look at the appearance of a woman's body to be turned on. Most websites that cater to porn will usually feature women more than men. For that reason, men are usually the primary recipient of such pleasure. So, let us make that clear.

The Phenomenon

Addiction to porn is a existing phenomenon these days. A lot of men and an increasing number of women are realizing how helpless they are in the face of online temptations. Most people start to look at erotica at an early age. That is where it all starts and by then, the person has mastered the act of hiding it and keeping it secret from those around. Sometimes, it may have started out of curiosity and then escalated into a pattern or habit and then became compulsive. The person may have lost control of the will to be in control when it comes to porn addiction.

The Female Partner

There are some female partners that are traumatized when it is discovered that their male counterpart is watching porn behind their back. The first reaction could be insecurity or low self esteem. A woman's thought process is different from a man, in most cases. She will probably think that he is seeking other means of sexual pleasure because she is not 'doing her job' in the bedroom. She could consider it disrespectful to her feelings and selfish, for the most part. Anger will often pursue because she will feel violated. You will think that your partner has suddenly lost interest in having sex with you and may find you unattractive.

The Initial Signs

There are signs of porn addiction that could slip under the radar, if you are not paying attention. In many cases, it is not easy to notice right away, especially if the other partner is nonchalant and not proactive in the relationship. Lack of interest in intimacy is one initial sign that you should notice right away. If your partner always showed affection openly and is no longer doing so, it is time to take notice. A partner who prefers to watch erotica as a means of sexual pleasure instead of intimacy with the other partner is asking for trouble with the relationship. The opposite is true. if a partner is overly aggressive during intimacy and wants more than what you have to offer, there may be cause for concern, especially if it occurs more times than not. In addition, you could make the same point, if the partner is asking the other to do things in the bedroom that are uncomfortable. Look for these initial signs and start sleuthing around.

The Bedroom Encounters

When one partner needs to be stimulated before an encounter in the bedroom, this is normal. However, when it goes beyond the scope of mutual agreement, then there is a problem. Your partner may be watching

    too much erotica
and discovered things that he has never seen or heard of before. It could be hardcore and too much for you to handle. If intimacy is all he thinks about all day long and keeps asking for intimacy, even after getting lots of it, then there is cause for concern. If your partner is focusing more on himself during the act and not paying attention to your needs, then you should have a sit down discussion, especially, if this is ongoing and has never happened in the past.

The Bedroom Issues

Porn addiction will escalate, if there are issues in the bedroom. The addict will continue to watch porn, hoping to get escape and get satisfaction from it, if there are problems in the bedroom. He will become desensitized to any other forms of satisfaction and pleasure because of not wanting to deal with the bedroom issues. The actual intercourse with you will no longer be desired because of those problems and confrontation is inevitable. He will be hiding behind his addiction, having self pity and hoping that the problem will just go away. You have to be the instigator in directly confronting his addiction problem.

The Clear Signs

There are other clear signs of porn addiction that are blatant and visible. A partner who becomes physically and verbally aggressive during and before intimacy should be evaluated. A partner with unrealistic fantasies that are hard for the other partner to fulfill is either demanding or a

    porn addict.
If a partner is getting frustrated about your performance in bed all the time, you have need to be concerned. If he belittles you and shows intense interest in sadomasochism, fetishes and group intimacy when you have not yet discussed it or given permission, red flags should go up.

Passion For Technology

When a partner spends a considerable amount of time on the Internet, you have to wonder what is being done for so long and how it could affect your relationship. Someone with a propensity for porn will suddenly have a passion for technology, even if that was not the case before. Most porn addicts will usually use the Internet at night or after everyone else has gone to bed. It will be used during the day, if he is alone. If a partner withdraws to a room to be alone for hours, you should question it. In fact, if you attempt to question his motives, he may get angry and demand you to leave him alone. He may have a password lock on his computer so that you cannot search it when he is not present. However, there may be one way to find out. Most porn sites are not FREE. If they are initially free, it would only be for a few months, after which, the member has to start paying. If you have access to your bank account, you can check the statement each month to see whether there is an unusual credit that you know nothing about. This is the first place to start. If your partner is not savvy enough to put a password on his laptop, phone or computer, then you can go in and check the browser for the Internet history. If he has not deleted the history, you will be able to tell the websites that he has visited. If the Internet history has been erased, then you know he is trying to hide something from you and secretly covering his tracks. He may also feel that what he is doing is nobody's business and could be defiant about it, so much, that he keeps digging a deeper hole for himself. He may be hanging on to that false sense of security.

More Excuses

A person with porn addiction will often find as many excuses to be alone for the purpose of watching erotica. If it means lying to the other partner, that will be the ultimate choice. He may begin to excuse himself from family gatherings. He may be unable to explain absences from other important events. He may not be able to account for how he spends his time, if asked. He will have little or no interest to be around people. He may suddenly start to nitpick at everything.

Signs of Being Withdrawn

When someone is involved with porn, it is safe to say that person will be withdrawn emotionally. He may be distant and numb, starting to lose interest in the real world of relationships. He will be more antisocial and reclusive. Life for both of you will not be the same because of this. He does not mind the change, but it will affect your relationship in such a way to make you unhappy and dissatisfied, but he will be happy with what he is doing. He may express bursts of angry episodes when he cannot retreat to his lonely space so he can get online. There will be no remorse or regret at the time of the indulgence in porn addiction. However, after a while, you will begin to experience the obvious neglect and emotional distress because of not knowing exactly what to do. This is when you have to look for help outside of the relationship.

Seeking Help

The other partner without the porn addiction should go ahead and seek professional help for the addicted partner. This should be done as soon as the addiction is discovered. Seeking help will only serve to mend the relationship and get you both on the same page again. It will allow the addicted individual to change his mindset and use his energy for more positive things. A therapist will be help to dig deeper to find out the underlying issues that probably exist. If possible, the therapist may recommend group therapy where the addict will be comforted in knowing that he is not the only one with an addiction problem.

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